2000ADHD & Me
Most folks have an age-old story of how they got into a particular fandom; whether it be something like being gifted a book, album or some other item by a family member or going to an event and tumbling down the rabbit hole and it sets them on a path they are unlikely to ever deviate from. But I’m not most folks.
Let’s do something 2000AD does quite a bit of, especially in Flesh, and go back in time. I was born in 1984. My brother was 10 years old and my sister was 15. A lot of my interests were influenced by my brother in some shape or form – from toys handed down to comics and books, music and movies. 2000AD was never a comic in the household. Being in Scotland, there were a lot of The Broons and Oor Wullie books and other DC Thomson titles – my favourites were The Beano & The Dandy. I remember having an assortment of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles (UK titles swapped out the ‘Ninja’ bit for ‘Hero’ because of the violent connotations of the word ‘ninja’). I vividly remember this cover as I remember wondering why a turtle was completely black.
In fact, not only was 2000AD never in my household, I never knew anyone who read it. Or if they did, they certainly never mentioned it. If I saw it, it would have been a brief glimpse of the cover in John Menzies (later was bought by WHSmith) or R.S McColl. Magazines and comics weren’t a regular purchase for me – brought up in a single parent, low income environment meant “treats” were few and far between usually for birthdays and Christmases. As I got a bit older and my brother moved out my Mum was able to get me a bit more which typically were Batman: The Animated Series action figures from Kenner. A lot of the things I had I still own as they were items that would typically stand the test of time as opposed to books and comics that would get damaged/dog-eared etc.
“I thought this post was about you and 2000AD?” I hear you ask… We’re getting there. Slowly.
I remember the Judge Dredd movie from 1995. I remember playing a demo for the PlayStation game which was similar to the Die Hard 2 level on Die Hard Trilogy. I vaguely remember reading some Flesh but I think that was my only exposure to 2000AD in print as a kid – there was a barber I’d get taken to as a kid and there’d be a random assortment of comics such as Batman, Spider-man and I can only assume 2000AD (unless it was in the form of collected works – the Legend of Shamana books were released in 1992 and 1993 so those kinda line up with the age I’d have been). Perhaps I read more but Flesh was etched in my memory.
I liked the Judge Dredd movie. In so far as it was a cheesy action romp and a bit different to the darker, more adult stuff I was into like Alien, Aliens, The Nightmare on Elm Street and so on. I was 11 years old when I watched it. The earliest movie I remember watching was The Nightmare on Elm Street when I was about 5 years old and Aliens when I was 7. Yes, I’m a heathen, I watched Aliens before I watched Alien.
I became a major Batman fan as I was given the Tim Burton movie on VHS by my Dad for my birthday (probably the only good thing he ever did). A few years later, Batman: The Animated Series was on TV and then the toy obsession kinda took hold. A few years later, all of that would come to an end as I would start high school and had to push a lot of the things I loved away to mask. To fit in. I was mocked for the things I enjoyed and I guess I kinda resented comics and so on as they were why I was being bullied. Daft, I know. But to a young confused mind what was I to do? There are a lot of things that hindsight offers and, tying in with my A Prog a Day posts where I use the title 2000ADHD, so many signs of my neurodivergence was evident. Most particularly my difficulty with social skills and situations.
Anyway, high school sucked balls and I masked the inner geek that I started to despise because of the negative attention it drew. Then PlayStation 2 came into my life and I was able to geek out over something that others shared an interest in. I remember sitting in IT watching teasers of Grand Theft Auto III and my friends gathered round like I was some sort of digital messiah. It felt cool being cool. Kinda. I was still socially awkward but I finally had something in common with my friends.
2006 saw me encounter Rogue Trooper for the first time as it was released on PlayStation 2. I fucking adored that game. I loved the setting, the story, the characters and how it all worked together. I said I would read the stories. At the time of writing this here in 2024, I still haven’t.
Fast forward to when I was 26/27 – I started to get back into comics. I started reading The Walking Dead as the title drew me in. Holy shit, this is what they are doing with comics nowadays? Bearing in mind this was around 2010/2011 and these comics had originally been published at least 7 years prior.
A couple of years later, I started up an online store called Nerdgazzum where I sold various pop culture items but most of my business was selling Funko POP! figures. At some point, after perusing the various supplier websites and eyeing up products to list, I saw a sculpture of Judge Death. Thinking it was cool, I checked the price and promptly closed the browser tab. I ended up selling a couple of the Judge Dredd POP! figures and, in true hindsight fashion, I wish I’d grabbed one for myself. And maybe some more because of the prices they’re going for now… Oh well.
Around this time, I ended up watching the Dredd movie. I didn’t like it. I didn’t get it. It felt like a visual effects tech demo. Don’t hate me.
Time passes, not sure how much, and I decide to give the flick another chance. Holy shit. I fucking love this movie. Maybe it was where my head was at at the time or maybe it was something else. The only thing I can recall is my first viewing was before my Mum died and my second was after. And to tell you the truth, her passing fucking changed me. I became much darker than I had ever been before. I was battling with depression harder than I ever had at the time, on top of the fact that just days after she passed, my youngest daughter was born. Born into a world I hated. A world that repulsed me. The movie was a thrilling escape and visually stunning. It was a work of art.
Fast forward to 2024. I watched Future Shock! The Story of 2000 AD and that was like a call to action for me. It became a hyper-focus. So I decided to finally do something I always said I would: read the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic. But, as I have later come to realise as this being AuDHD related and not what everyone else does, I can’t start part-way in. I have to go back to the very beginning. I do this with podcasts as well. And so I started posting A Prog a Day. Part of the reason was to encourage me to do my own “prog slog” but give my mind something to focus on. A project of sorts. It was also my hope that writing would encourage me to write other content and perhaps use the reading and writing involved in this to spark my own creative journey; to reignite the small fires I had burning before and finish my incomplete scripts and to start new ones.
So far I have more ideas than I have committed anything to paper/Word docs but maybe one day I’ll complete a piece and the dopamine from that will keep the fire burning to do another and another. The ADHD part of me does struggle when I think of the mammoth task this is – at the time of writing this, I have done Prog 90. That’s 90 consecutive days of posting. But that’s 2,286 Progs behind the current issue. It’ll take me just over six years to reach the latest Prog as of now. But then there will be just over six more years of Progs on top of that… I can’t do the maths on that…
My history may not be as rich or as meaningful as that of others’ and as you can see, I had several near-misses of potentially getting into 2000ADÂ but better late than never, right?
In some respects, yes. The biggest problem I’m facing is that a lot of the “thrills” fail to grab me. Having entered into this series 47 years after the fact means that a lot of the things that would have been thrilling or shocking don’t have the same effect and as I’m not experiencing it as a wide-eyed, mouth agape child I feel I’m missing out. I find myself getting bored, or lacking interest or able to predict some of the events that happen. Add in the cultural and societal references that I was either not around for or don’t recall, there are several layers of detail that are missed by me. Although, when I do get a reference or spot a likeness etc. I do get a nice hit of dopamine and a feeling of satisfaction that I think makes up for some of the shortcomings.
As a result of seeking a diagnosis for my neuro-spiciness, I’ve had to look at my old school reports and I don’t have them all but I do remember what some said. My English teachers would criticise the fact that I am a minimalist. I write the least amount of words to typically hit the nail on the head. Whereas the expectation would be a 500 word essay on something, I’d often do it in less than half. Which is weird given how I can rant and rave and waffle on about things verbally (provided I have people I’m comfortable with and a subject I want to talk about). When it comes to writing, I tend to be very short. It might look lazy but I typically can’t pump more words out because my brain doesn’t work that way. However, the style of the A Prog a Day posts have seen several changes since the first one and there will no doubt be many more as time goes on. My posts may very well evolve just as the Progs themselves do.
As I’ve found and said in some of my posts, some story-lines drag on. Some characters are annoying (Walter the Wobot). And some things I simply don’t enjoy. But that’s my deal. The stories and characters are products of their time. If I was to have grown up as a 70’s kid my experience would no doubt be very different – the stories I enjoy now I may not then and vice versa. But just as reading the Progs is almost like opening a weekly time capsule of products of their time, I am a product of mine. Having grown up watching Jurassic Park, while I still enjoy the stories of Flesh, they’re perhaps not as jaw-dropping and shocking to me as they would be to a kid who still has that visual treat to walk into their life.
What I don’t want is for my attitude or lack of enthusiastic/minimalistic writing or lack of enjoyment on a particular story/character etc. to come across like I’m shitting on the creators. I’m not. I could never craft these stories, characters, worlds and mythos. My commentary on my enjoyment is merely that, what I think or feel about it. Some of my views/comments may be disliked and that’s fine. That’s no different to the kids back in the day talking about the comics and sharing their thoughts. The difference is that I’m coming in as an adult to a world I’ve been aware of, know some things and have heard of certain stories/characters. I think that’s partly why I ended up not doing a bit on each “thrill” and just focused on my Pick of the Prog as it’s not just easier but it encouraged me to keep the posts going as I found myself sometimes having nothing to say on a “thrill” without it sounding shitty.
Most 2000ADÂ fans grew up as the comic grew up. They saw the changes, they saw the evolution, they saw pop culture around them and media being absorbed and shaped to fit the stories they love every week. I’m doing all of that in reverse. It’s like some sort of Benjamin Button-ing.
They also didn’t have the concerns of adult life, work, children of their own and all the trials and tribulations that all of that brings. Some days, I find it a real struggle to read part of a Prog, let alone the entire issue. My brain works against me and stops me from enjoying the things I know I will enjoy or want to and that’s why I call it 2000ADHD – part tribute to the puns that course through the galactic veins of the series and part tribute to my own struggles with which my hope is the comic gets me through with something to focus on. Something that brings me joy.
The trouble is, joy is often fleeting. I’ve recently come to learn of the term “Anhedonia” and I felt seen as soon as I learned more about it.
Anhedonia is the lack of interest, enjoyment or pleasure from life’s experiences. You may not want to spend time with others or do activities that previously made you happy. Anhedonia is a common symptom of many mental health conditions.
It’s normal when your interests change throughout your life. With anhedonia, you get much less pleasure or joy doing things you like to do.
I think this is what contributes to the minimalism in my writing. I don’t enjoy things on the same level as most people. My enjoyment is like a watered down, sometimes nearly faked experience because I’m trying to fit in. My enthusiasm ends up being “It was okay” or “quite good” when others would rave on about it. Sometimes it feels like I don’t actually feel anything and have to feign enjoyment to avoid the awkwardness of being questioned as to why I don’t feel or act the same as others. I thought it was maybe an age thing but clearly it’s something that is so deeply ingrained in my mental profile that it will probably never go away.
I am also someone who tends to dwell in the past. Reliving experiences and, as my mind is wont to do, reliving the horrible moments where my brain is “helpfully” commentating. So it’s quite fitting, I guess, that I am like Tony Robinson on Time Team, digging up the historical treasures from what is a British institution at this stage. Getting a glimpse of what was going on in the world back, before I was born, through the satirical lens that is 2000AD. The only shame is that I don’t have the time to perhaps dive deeper into the stories and pluck out and link references and influences as I think that would make for fascinating reading. Instead, you have my minimalist take with the occasional reference which usually ends up being more modern than the subject material because, like most things in my life, I’m doing it “backwards”.
So here’s to many more Progs to come.
Speaking of slogs, just after I decided to start doing the daily posts and was getting ready to publish my first few, I discovered the Prog Slogs podcast which is hosted, funnily enough, by fellow Scots! Michael and Craig (and sometimes David). I discovered them and their content via Twitter. As I mentioned before when starting something new to me, I have to go right back to the beginning so I started from their first episode and I’m up to date with their show. It’s highly entertaining and even though they discuss Progs that are over 6 years ahead of me in terms of my own slog, it’s still a great listen. With references to Alan Partridge and Tory bashing, it’s well worth a listen if you don’t already!
Incidentally, as the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic has just recently turned 47, I am on the brink of turning 40. Funnily enough, the same age gap between my partner and I…
My partner and I (Christmas 2022)
Latest posts by Craig Stewart (see all)
- 2000ADHD – A Prog a Day – Prog 281 - October 14, 2024
- 2000ADHD – A Prog a Day – Prog 280 - October 13, 2024
- 2000ADHD – A Prog a Day – Prog 279 - October 12, 2024
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