In Blackest Night – Mirtazapine – Day 5
Another day, another update. Nothing much new to report – my mood is still shitty and the tiredness continues. One thing that seems to be ailing me is, what I initially thought was a cold or viral infection, the pain in my neck and gums. It started off fairly dull, so I figured it was just regular toothache but then the sore throat (not so much the throat itself as in feeling like I’m swallowing razor blades but more a feeling of constriction/swelling) started.
It seems to just have progressively gotten worse – today especially so. The right side of my face feels like it’s constantly thrumming. Painkillers and anti-inflammatories don’t touch it. I’m not sure if this is a side-effect of the meds or if this is through a pinched nerve (my neck is aching down the right side too).
I’m more inclined to think it’s a pinched nerve as I’ve had problems getting comfortable when trying to sleep. I normally sleep on my right side but recently I’ve found it difficult because my right arm just feels in the way. I usually have it under the pillow, bent in an ‘L’ shape and lie on it but that no longer feels comfortable and my arm seems superfluous. It reminds me of the scene in Mallrats where Brodie is comparing spooning to his relationship [see below].
When I wake up, I find my arm is either numb or sore from lying on it. Don’t mention the pins and needles – there’s something so horrifyingly wrong yet enjoyable about them.
I really hope this pain pisses off soon – it seems to have ruined my run in terms of running with ideas and digressing all over the place with random thoughts and ideas. Or maybe that’s a good thing?